How to haemorrhage money by writing a book

The latest pierced artery is a block of ten ISBNs. But the comfort is that they cost a bit less than two ISBNs which would have been £89 each. Ouch. And if I had been persuaded to buy the matching Bar Codes, that would have been another £120.

As I have published only one novel and am about to publish the second with no original intention of writing a third, ten ISBNs seems rather excessive. The husband was unhelpful and said I’d just have to keep on tightening the tourniquet.

What with the cover design, three structural edits, line and copy edits and formatting, to name but a few of the deep financial wounds, it is a wonder that any author makes money at all.

I know, I know. All you have to do is sell your book.

A Web of Intrigue

It’s quite alarming how the World Wide Web Works. This interview was recently requested out of the blue, and more eerily was sent to an old email address and domain which hasn’t existed for over a year.  It arrived in my normal inbox. A kind of ouija, message from The Beyond.  The Other Side (of the Atlantic).

Interview With Author Charlotte Milne

The Compleat Works

My lovely book group is full of poets.  As we nestle down in the pub, taking up large amounts of space and taking in large amounts of alcohol, I am aware that writing novels is not conducive to sharing production on a monthly basis, unlike those poets who wrote an entire oeuvre this morning.  And those oeuvres are sad, or hilarious, or clever or just plain dotty, but they are complete.

‘Where was I?’ I say, having lost the post-it note which said ‘Read (past, not present, tense) to book group up to here’. There is then a confused babble of inaccurate memory, and I am truly embarrassed at having to recap my love story to those who were not there last month, and to the ones who weren’t there two months ago.  Anyway, I can only read at most one quarter of a chapter if I am not to hog the time which must be divided between eleven aspiring scribblers.  Yes, poetry is the way forward.

I think I never did blog that my one and only oeuvre was published in December.  I’m supposed to market this thing, so it’s called

DOLPHIN DAYS and it’s by CHARLOTTE MILNE

How many more sales will that bring me?  By the way, friends and family, thank you for buying or downloading. And thank you, thank you for reviewing. And thank you, thank you, thank you for 4 stars not 5.  5 stars for a debut novel? They can only be from faithful kind friends or family.